


Full Disclosure

by IBoatedHere



Series: Undercover Lovers [2]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flashbacks, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, undercover agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6121687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben and Caleb disclose their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Disclosure

“So, how did it happen?”

They all want to know. 

All agents want to know all the facts, every detail, but this team doesn't know where to stop.

“Which one of you kissed the other?”

 _“Caleb kissed me first. But I was quick to reciprocate.”_

“Where did it happen?”

_“Alleyway.”_

_“Very romantic.”_

“How many times have you two….?”

_“I stopped counting after fifteen.”_

_“Caleb, could you not share that?”_

_“Be proud of it. Revel in it.” ___

“Why didn't you tell me?”

They had to tell Sackett first. 

Caleb brought it up while they were making out on Ben’s couch.

They were touching everywhere. Kissing constantly. It had been hours and they were restless and impatient. 

Caleb kept rolling his hips up and Ben kept pushing down, biting and teasing at Caleb's mouth. 

“We could be fired if we don't disclose it.”

“Who cares?” Ben was kissing his collarbone, his hands under his shirt. 

“I care. You care.” 

Sackett isn't going to be working forever. That job is Ben's if it wants it and Caleb knows he does. 

“If he wants to fire us I'll quit.”

Caleb poked him hard in the ribs. “Don't you dare. I'll quit.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“It might be our only choice.” 

“We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

As predicted Sackett mentioned that there was a chance they'd both be terminated. 

Ben wasn't having that and even though Caleb was shooting him daggers to _please, for the love of god please shut your mouth and stop talking back to the head of intelligence, our boss, the man that reports to the president of the United States of America_ , Ben went on and on about how they wouldn't work with anyone else and they'd never find two people who work as well together, who work this well with their team, how do we know they even work with anyone new, they could all quit. 

Sackett stared at him. Rolled his eyes so hard Caleb thought they'd get stuck that way and signed off on the human resources form. 

“Now get out of here. So dramatic, Tallmadge. Don't know how you put up with him, Brewster.” 

“When did you realize how you felt?”

It would be simplest to tell them it happened that moment in the alley. It was an epiphany. Ben was being an idiot, like always, and tried to get himself killed and he realized he couldn’t live without him.

That’s a lie. 

*****

_It's before that._

******

“I would say you clean up nice but you always look like this.” 

Ben's fussing with his cuff links. The tux fits him like a glove, like all his clothes do. Caleb has yet to see him look like a mess. It's mind boggling. Even during training when everyone is sweaty and disgusting Ben simply wipes his forehead on the sleeve of his shirt and swipes a hand through his hair and he looks like he's stepped right out of a magazine again. 

Ben frowns and looks desperately at Caleb. “Please tell me you don’t think I’m as stuffy as I feel.”

“Why am I not going in on this one?” Abe complains. 

“Because Ben is cuter,” Mary said, deadpanned and focused on the screen in front of her. 

“You have a hard time connecting with women,” Anna amended. 

“And Ben is any better? Have we seen him connect with anyone? I mean, besides Caleb. When was the last time you went on a date?”

Ben's fiddling with his bow tie and Caleb takes over to straighten it. 

“Last Tuesday,” Ben tells him and Caleb drops his hand away even though the tie is still crooked. He wasn't expecting that. 

“Oh.” 

“Burned.”

“Ben is making contact with Mrs. Collier. Caleb is going in as back up, and the rest of us will be doing surveillance. Sacketts orders. Best not to question it.” 

In the car to the event curiosity gets the better of him. 

“So how was your date.”

“It was okay. Double date with my brother. I don't think I'll see her again.” 

_Her._

That's fine. 

“What was wrong with her?”

“Nothing. There's nothing wrong with any of them.”

“I didn't know you did that a lot.”

“I don't. Not really. If I didn't go out on Tuesday I wouldn't have had a very good answer for Abe.” 

“So why do you not see any of them again?”

“You have a lot of questions about this.”

“It's a whole part of you I don't know.”

“There's not much to know.”

“You're very good at dodging answers.”

“There's nothing to dodge.”

Caleb raises an eyebrow at him, pointedly and Ben laughs, reaches between them as the car pulls up to the curb and straightens Caleb's collar. 

“You clean up nice, Caleb.” 

Anita Collier is young, beautiful, and rich. She achieved the first two on her own and the third comes from her 92 year old husband who takes 10 different pills a day and requires an oxygen tank to be on constant stand by. 

There's no prenup. 

All Anita had to do was wait him out, claim what's hers in the will- all of it, the mansions, the cars, private jet, and live a carefree life with one of the young men she's currently having an affair with. With that money she could probably keep them all. 

But Anita is smart and bored and she had to get involved with the illegal diamond trade in Africa and now Ben has to use his charm on her to figure out who else is involved. 

Anita zeros in on him right away because Ben is young, and beautiful, and his expensive rented tux gives him the illusion of being rich. 

Caleb takes a few laps around the room. Most of the people are talking about the charity, a few about how lovely Anita's taste in design is, and a handful saying how tacky the furnishing and Anita herself are. 

Caleb can't blame them. 

The house is extravagant to the point of being over done and Anita- Anita is not hiding that fact that she plans on devouring Ben within the next five minutes. 

She's only a few inches shorter than him in her heels and she's at the perfect height to drop whispers against the side of his neck, things that are making him blush and take another sip of the champagne in his glass. 

“What is she saying to him?” Caleb tucks a curl behind his ear and talks softly into his cuff link.

“He's not connected to us.”

“What?”

“He didn't want any wires on him in case…” Anna trails off.

“In case what?”

“In case this had to go further than originally thought.” 

In case Anita tears into him and he decides to let her.

“What if he gets in trouble?”

“That's why you're there.” 

Anita leads Ben away from the party by the wrist. He finds Caleb over everyone's head and nods in the direction Anita is dragging him, telling him he should follow and Caleb doesn't need to be told twice. 

There's a man in the hallway outside of Mr. Collier's office. He's 6’3 with a silencer on his gun and it's a bit of a struggle to get Anita and the guy and his gun through the office doors without calling attention to them. 

They get it done- Ben knocks her out and rests her body on the couch- she's still breathing. 

The big guy is a little harder to take down but it's Caleb's job to do so. He doesn't go down without a fight, the gun goes off, getting a bullet stuck in the wall, breaking the glass in a the frame of a painted that was probably worth more than Caleb and Ben's yearly salaries combined. 

Caleb knocks the gun away, it slides beneath the desk and the guy gets his arm against Caleb's windpipe, cutting off his air supply. He feels lightheaded, tunnel vision and hears nothing but the blood rushing in his ears before the guy is off of him and hits the floor. 

Caleb leans on the desk to catch his breath. When he turns around there's a letter opener sticking out of the guys back.

Ben's sitting on the ground yanking his tie off, a dark blood stain on white dress shirt. 

He's swearing softly and Caleb's quick to get to his knees next to him, pressing his hands over the blood patch.

The bullet must have passed through Ben on the way to the frame. He saved his life and now he's paying for it. 

“Hang on, Ben, hang on.”

_Don't leave me. Don't leave me._

“Anna, we need medical,” he shouts into the cuff link at his wrist. 

“Don't talk, you're going to be okay, it's going to be okay.”

 _I love you. I should've told you._

“Anna. Ben's down.”

“We can get a chopper to you in two minutes. Can you get to the roof?”

“No, no, no,” Ben pushed Caleb's hand off his chest and grabs his wrist. “Anna, no chopper. No roof. No medic. I'm fine. I'm not hit. We need someone to pick up Mrs. Collier and one other man. I don't think he's alive.”

“I'll get Billy in there in four minutes.”

“You're bleeding, you got shot. You're in pain.” 

“No. Blood’s his,” he nods to the guy. “I'm fine. I'm pissed off. I have absolutely lost the deposit on his tux.” 

Caleb states and Ben smiles until Caleb laughs. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“Only to my friends.”

“I’d hate to find out what you are to your enemies.”

He looks at the guy lying face down on the expensive white carpet, blood stains beneath him and shrugs. “The last thing they ever see?”

“Oh god.” He leans forward and rests his forehead against Ben's shoulder and tries to catch his breath. “I thought you got shot.”

_I thought I lost you._

Ben rubs his back, a big hand coming up to squeeze the back of his neck. “We should get out of here. I can’t walk through the party like this. I’m going out the window.”

“We’re on the third floor.”

“There’s a balcony beneath us. Some bushes beneath that,” He looks Caleb over, straightens out his collar again. “You can go through the front door. Tell Billy I said hey when you pass him on the stairs.”

“No, I’m right behind you.”

Later, after the de-briefing and dinner with the team, after Ben has lost the jacket and bow tie and rolled up his sleeves at the table, after Caleb goes home alone, takes a shower, watches the news -Anita Collier Has Gone Missing-is the main headline, after he’s in bed exhausted and aching from landing in those bushes, half on a rose bush and half on Ben, he realizes he never thanked Ben for saving his life. 

He realizes it’s better that way. 

He would’ve wanted to say _thank you_ but _I love you_ would’ve come out instead. 

*****

 _It's before that._

*****

“So let me make sure I understand, you're giving us permission to lay around the pool and act like college idiots on spring break?”

“I'm telling you to blend in.” Sackett tells them, voice tinny over the secure line. “Don't call attention to yourselves but don't lock yourselves in your rooms either.”

They're in Brazil on assignment. They're here to take out a mob boss who is supposed to be flying in from Miami. His flights delayed. 

“Spring Break,” Abe turned Rob with his hand raised for a high five and Rob rolled his eyes. 

“Don't get arrested. I will not bail you out. His flights not due out until late tomorrow evening, should be arriving 8pm, your time. Be ready then.” 

Sackett hangs up and Abigail shrugs. “I could lay around the pool. Come buy a bathing suit with me, Anna.” 

“Am I not invited?” Abe calls after them. 

They both give him the finger on the way out. 

Caleb spends the day around the pool with Anna and Abigail. 

Rob and Abe go back and forth between trying to drown themselves in the pool, arguing about who’s buying the next round of drinks, and talking quietly at the bar, shoulder to shoulder.  
Ben disappears. He slipped out of the room right after Sackett hung up and no one has seen him since. 

Caleb knows he’s a smart man, one of the smartest, but it gets dark and everyone is sitting on the floor in Anna and Abigail’s room passing a bottle of cheap, local booze around, slowly getting more and more drunk and Ben still isn’t back. 

“Why are you worried?” Abe asks him at dinner. “He works for the CIA, ow,” Anna kicks him sharply beneath the table and hisses at him to keep his voice down. “He’s a big boy. He’ll come back. How about I text him and tell him to join us ASAP,” He grabs the bottle off the table. “I’ll tell him we’re upstairs and that we’re requesting his presence.”

 _“Requesting his presence._ ” Rob mocks. “You’re such an idiot.”

Abe downs what’s left in the bottle and drops it down onto the carpet between them.

“Spin the bottle,” He announces. 

“What are we, 14”

“I don’t like the idea of being forced to kiss someone.”

“There’s only four of us.”

Ben picked that moment to come through the door. There’s sunburn across the bridge of his nose and cheeks but the rest of him looks golden, sunny, and warm. It looks like there’s more blond in his hair than when he left. He looks good. Caleb’s about to open his mouth and say something monumentally stupid, like telling him he looks good, when Abe speaks up instead.

“Where have you been?”

“Sit down. Play.”

“Now there’s five of us.”

“I still don’t like the idea of being forced to kiss someone.”

“What are you playing?” He answers none of them and all of them at once. 

“Spin the bottle,” Abe announces proudly. 

“How old are we?”

“That’s what I asked,” Rob says. 

“I think I’ll just watch. Read over some files.”

Abe boos and Abigail looks vaguely disappointed and Caleb makes a mental note to keep an eye on her.

“Suit yourself,” Abe shrugs, spins the bottle, and lands on Rob.

“I would rather die. Spin again.”

Anna grabs the bottle before Abe can. “My turn.”

It spins a few times before landing between Abe and Caleb, right on Ben who is sitting on Anna’s bed. 

“Re-spin,” Caleb says immediately, kicking the bottle back towards Anna.

Abe yells, Rob whistles, and Abigail claps. 

_“He’s not playing.”_

“Kiss him.”

“Do it.”

“He’s not playing.” 

“Caleb, I had no idea you were the spin the bottle police,” She says with a raised eyebrow directed at Ben. 

Ben meets her with a small smile and a half shrug and he’s moving forward towards the edge of the bed and Anna is crawling through the circle and Caleb wants to run, wants to yell at Abe about how they’re not following the rules and he needs to do something, wants to push Anna away and kiss Ben himself, but he’s so drunk. He can’t move, he can’t form words, all he can do is turn his head when Anna puts her hand on the side of Ben’s face and presses her lips to his.

When he turns back around Ben is back to reading files and Anna is on her side of the circle talking to Abigail, Abe is spinning the bottle and making sure it lands on Rob and trying to pin him to the ground. 

Caleb takes another drink and another and closes his eyes with his head tipped back against the mattress feeling the way the bed shifts every time Ben moves to grab a new file. 

He wakes up to Ben shaking his shoulder, gently, worry etched into his features as he kneels in front of him. 

“You still alive?” He asks, softly and Caleb only focuses on the way his mouth moves around the words. 

“Yes.”

Ben laughs and leans back. The only light in the room is coming from the lamp on Anna’s nightstand. “Abigail and Anna are going to sleep. We gotta go.”

Caleb thinks _why don’t you just get in bed with Anna_ , but Ben is lifting him under his arms like he weighs nothing and it’s been awhile since he’s worked out with him but obviously he’s been doing just fine on his own. 

“Goodnight, boys,” Anna’s voice is muffled from under the covers. Caleb ignores her but Ben says goodnight back then ushers Caleb into the hall. 

“Do you have your key?” 

Caleb leans into him further so he can dig into his pocket and pull out the card and hand it over. Ben smells like sunscreen and sunshine and warmth. 

“Where did you go today?”

“Just around. We don’t usually get to spend more than a few hours in a city so I figured I go exploring.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Invite me next time.”

Ben smiles, brilliantly. “Sure.” 

He props Caleb against the wall so he can dip the key into the lock then opens the door and quickly closes it.

“What’s the matter?” Caleb slurs.

“Umm,” Ben’s blushing, sunburn standing out even more against his fair skin. “Abe and Rob.”

“Fighting again.”

“I wish I just walked in on them fighting.”

“No,” Caleb lunges forward and tries to get the keycard but Ben’s quick and sober and he pins him back against the door with his forearm against Caleb’s chest.

“Please, Caleb, no one needs to see that. I didn’t need to see it.”

“This is unbelievable.”

“Is it? Couldn’t you always cut the tension between them with a knife?”

He thinks he’s been too caught up trying to keep Ben from figuring out how he feels to notice anyone else.

“Abe and Rob.”

“They won’t remember this in the morning.”

“You and Anna.” 

Ben turns his head against the door to look at him. He’s so close.

_Kiss him._

“What about me and Anna?”

“That was a kiss.” 

He doesn’t know what kind of kiss it was. He didn’t watch but he knows it happened. 

“Oh,” He’s rubbing the back of his neck. “No, that was nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing,” Caleb slurs and leans closer, his chest right against his Ben’s arm. 

_Kiss him._

“Anna’s not…..she’s very,” He takes a deep breath and looks down at Caleb and all Caleb can think is kiss him he’s right there, blame it on the alcohol, write it off, but do it, you won’t get another chance. “Ya’know, Anna is great but I guess she’s not really my type.”

“What’s your type?”

_Kiss him._

“Sober,” Ben says. “Able to remember it in the morning.”

“You have very low standards.”

He scans Caleb’s face, eyes darting from his eyes to his mouth.

_Kiss him._

“They’ve served me well so far. Come on, Since Rob is in here you can stay with me tonight.”

Caleb drops into the first bed he sees. It’s Ben’s. Ben’s sweatshirt is lying across the pillows and in his drunken state he grabs it, balls it against his chest and falls asleep to the sound of the shower running. 

In the morning Anna takes a call from her boyfriend (Selah Strong, he runs a bar, he’s very normal) and gets up from the table with a shy and smitten smile to go talk to him. 

Ben doesn’t notice she’s gone and continues to sip his coffee. 

Abe looks like death warmed over and begs Abby to never let him drink again.

Rob his face down on the table with a bruise and teeth marks on the side of his neck.

Caleb is in love with his teammate. 

*****

_It's before that._

*****

It's him showing up at Caleb's, after work with a binder full of files and big bag of Chinese food. 

Caleb's in sweatpants and a shirt with holes in the armpits and Ben's still in his suit. He's without a wrinkle or imperfection and he breezes into Caleb's chaotic apartment like he belongs there. 

“I thought we could go over these together. Did you eat yet?”

“How'd you know where I lived?” 

“We work for the CIA. We can find out anything.”

“What's Sackett going to say when I tell him you've abused your powers?”

“You wouldn't do that to me, go get some plates. Or we could just eat out of the containers.”

“You don't look like an eat out of containers kind of a guy.” 

“There's a lot you don't know about me.”

Two hours later the food is gone and Ben's still sitting on his couch, flipping the pages of file after file. 

Caleb's starting to get a headache but he's not going to quit before Ben. 

“You want some coffee?”

“That'd be great. Thanks.” He doesn't look up from the paper and Caleb knows it's going to be a long night. 

“Do you think there's anything useful in those things or is it just a test.”

“It's a test,” he says and pops the top off a highlighter with his mouth. “I've found eight spelling errors already. No way this is official. These were typed by some unpaid intern.”

“Is that what you've been highlighting this whole time?”

“Yes. I'm going to show them all to Sackett.” 

Caleb stares at him from his kitchen. When he stood up Ben toed off his shoes and put his feet up on the couch. He was already out of his jacket, tie off and the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone. 

“You're kind of a nerd, aren't you?”

Ben raises his eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Not in a bad way. You're crazy too. Willingly sparring with Simcoe.”

_“He's crazy.”_

“Yes. They have to deny him. Right? How do we know he's not a mole. I don't trust him.”

“He has an ego.”

“And you wanted to kick his ass? You kicked his ass.”

“It was a stalemate.”

“We all think you kicked his ass. You're an intimidating nerd.”

“You really think I'm intimidating?” He rubs at his eyes and yawns. 

“I was going to say not right now but you know 6 different ways to kill me with that plastic spoon so…”

“You knows all those ways too.”

“Yeah, but I'd never use them on you.” 

“Good to know.” 

In the morning Caleb wakes up on the couch with a blanket draped over him. 

His files are in a neat pile on the coffee table right next to the remote. His phone is plugged into the charger and the plates and silverware they used last night are cleaned and put away. 

Ben did everything but carry him to bed and tuck him in. He wishes Ben had woken him up to say goodbye. 

He would’ve liked to see him again. 

******

 _It's before that._

*******

It's the first day of training and Caleb sits next to a beautiful woman who introduced herself as Anna, and watches a Ben walk in. 

He's just a kid. He looks like he just graduated high school and showed up at the wrong place for college orientation. 

He's lanky and tall and his hair is pulled into a bun at the back of his head and Caleb doesn't stop looking at him until a short man with glasses sliding down to the tip of his nose and curly hair stands in the front of the room and commands their attention. 

Training is intense and solitary and the next time Caleb sees the guy his hair is short and styled. There's strength in his body and the way he moves and he's a deadly shot, hitting his target every time and pinning every opponent he spars with. 

Caleb can't stop looking at him again. 

Anna comes up to stand beside him, looks at the guy then back to Caleb, says interesting, and walks away. 

He only knows the guy's last name because it's stenciled on the chest of his t-shirt. 

_Tallmadge._

He lets the name roll around in his brain. 

He wants to know more. 

It's not until all the recruits go out to blow off steam that Caleb gets more. 

The bar is loud. The staff is used to this. The waitress are either smiling and flirting or offering up tight lipped smiles at the patrons that morph into deep frowns and rolling eyes once their backs are turned. 

The bartender is doing what he can but Caleb has been waiting for ten minutes. Anna sent him over to get drinks for her, Abigail, and Mary but he’s ready to give up and suggest that they just go somewhere else. 

Tallmadge is sitting at a table by himself just to the right of the bar. He’s talking to a waitress whose smile stays on her face even after she turns around. 

Caleb seizes the opportunity.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” He asks. “The bar is crazy and if I go back to my friends without drinks they’re going to kill me. Right now they know four different ways to do it.”

“I think next week we’re learning the fifth way,” Tallmadge says as he kicks out a chair. “Ben Tallmadge.”

“Caleb Brewster. They make you cut your hair?”

“You noticed?”

Caleb has done little else. 

“I guess it’s better for undercover work. Long hair kind of stands out. This makes me blend in. You think they’ll make you shave the beard.”

“Oh god,” Caleb bursts out laughing then covers his hands with his face. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’ve had this thing since junior year of highschool. I don’t know what I’ll do without it.”

“You’ll adjust.”

He peaks out through his fingers. Ben is watching him with an unreadable expression. He’ll be a great agent. That’s what Caleb wants to be. He knows the rules. He’s not going to sink Ben’s career to fill his own needs. His own wants. He watches the way the light bounces off the thin, silver, chain that’s around Ben’s neck and he wants. 

“I should get back to my friends. Traffic around the bar has let up.”

“Sure.” His expression doesn’t change. 

“I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, good luck.”

Caleb smiles, turns around, and walks away. 

Two months later they’re put on the same team.

Ben smiles and Caleb melts but has to hide it.

Four months after that Ben shows up at his apartment with food and leaves after he takes care of him and Caleb has to deal with wanting to see Ben all the time, when he wakes up, when he gets out of the shower, getting dressed, making breakfast. 

Seven months later they’re in Brazil and drags him back to his room, lets him sleep in his bed and spoon with his sweatshirt and Caleb regrets not kissing him against that door everyday. 

A year later Ben saves his life with a letter opener and a joke about his rented tux and Caleb has to stop himself from telling him that he loves him by saying nothing at all. 

One week ago Ben saved himself in an alleyway and five minutes later Caleb was confessing his love and kissing him. 

******

So.

When did he know?

He has to lie.

Ben just caught up with him.

This is still new. 

If Caleb were to tell him, all of them, about all of this he’d scare him off. 

He can’t do that.

He’ll tell them it was in the alleyway. It’s a good story. It’s understandable. It’s relatable. 

“God, I knew for a long time.” Ben starts. “You remember when the whole class went out to that bar and it was miserable because it was packed and half of us were just trying to get a drink and the other half were being assholes to the waitresses? I was watching him try to push his way to the bar, probably to get drinks for you guys,” He points to Anna, Abigail, and Mary. “And finally he gave up and I thought, _I hope he comes over here_ , I was sitting alone and he actually came over so I was all nervous and everything and we got to talking and I said something about how if he thought they’d make him shave his beard so he could blend in a little easier and he laughed and I had these sudden simultaneous thought of _I hope I get to work with this guy everyday_ and I hope he doesn’t make it because this is someone I want, right now, I want him.” He snaps his fingers. “Just like that. It hit me. After that I couldn’t shake it but I didn’t think he’d ever feel the same so I ignored it,” He looks over at Caleb. Caleb has never stopped looking at him. Ben covers Caleb’s hand on the table with his own. “I wish I had known right then that I could have both.” 

_It's before that._

_It’s right now._

_It’s every moment in between._

_It’s for as long as they can._


End file.
